Really good! “Wriggling like a bad meal inside the metal belly of the train” is particularly vivid. The same visceral feelings work for the NYC subway, though I think it’s less cosmopolitan
Thank you Ted! Your support means a lot. And I love how the same feeling can echo in different parts of the world - it makes writing extra special for me 💜
After I read this, I imagined what If as a form, this writing would be better without paragraphs and let them become a rush hour-ish. It must feel like words are melding.
I am amazed by the vivid image of a train and station in the most crowded and hectic time. I feel like I am inside that metal belly of a steel dragon
I LOVED all your descriptions in this piece! Especially "wriggling like a bad meal inside the metal belly of the train." In the handful of minutes I was reading, I felt like I was breathing the same air as the narrator.
This piece vividly captures the chaotic yet intimate experience of riding a metro during rush hour. It successfully immerses the reader in a visceral environment, painting a dynamic portrait of the crowd—its push and pull, the tensions, and the fleeting, unspoken connections between strangers. The descriptions are vivid and poetic, turning what could be mundane into a sensory overload of sounds, sights, and emotions. However, at times the rich detail threatens to overwhelm, making it difficult to focus on a central theme. While Anagha Smrithi beautifully evokes the physical and emotional entanglement of commuters, it could benefit from sharper pacing in some sections to maintain the reader’s engagement. Still, the writing’s strength lies in its ability to bring to life the paradox of public transport: the simultaneous isolation and connectedness we all experience in shared spaces.
really puts me there, love it!
Ah, I'm so glad! thanks for reading
This like a prose poem. Love it.
Thank you LeeAnn!
Wow! Intricate! It transported me there and also back to my days being transported on a train pressed together like sardines.
Thank you Heidi! I really appreciate this.
Beautifully written. Love it. Reminded me of Bombay local trains
Thank you Aditi! And yes, Bombay locals are such an experience
Your vivid descriptions manage to hold us till the end... It felt claustrophobic and also felt the joy of finally getting fresh air.
I’m so glad that the descriptions held you! Thanks for reading Harshal
Wow! I was taken on the metro ride I'd never want to take! Splendid writing, Anagha!
Hahaha! Thanks for coming along with me in spirit - and for reading. I appreciate your comment ☺️
Really good! “Wriggling like a bad meal inside the metal belly of the train” is particularly vivid. The same visceral feelings work for the NYC subway, though I think it’s less cosmopolitan
Thank you Ted! Your support means a lot. And I love how the same feeling can echo in different parts of the world - it makes writing extra special for me 💜
After I read this, I imagined what If as a form, this writing would be better without paragraphs and let them become a rush hour-ish. It must feel like words are melding.
I am amazed by the vivid image of a train and station in the most crowded and hectic time. I feel like I am inside that metal belly of a steel dragon
That’s a really cool idea, Danny! Thanks for that. If you ever attempt a rush hour piece without paragraphs, I would love to read it.
Thanks for reading and for your comment!
I LOVED all your descriptions in this piece! Especially "wriggling like a bad meal inside the metal belly of the train." In the handful of minutes I was reading, I felt like I was breathing the same air as the narrator.
Oh my gosh! Thank you for this generous comment, I’m really moved ❤️
Wonderful writing, I felt dropped right into the scene and my senses felt it all.
Wow thanks Amy! I’m glad I could take you there
Good description. I'm right there, claustrophobic & overwhelmed. I'm with Don - ready for the book!
Omg, too kind Karen!
loved every word of this, i genuinely felt as though i was there!!
thank you dru! means a ton!
Wonderful writing, Anagha. I'm proud to witness your writing career as it grows. I will be first in line for your first published book!
Oh, I'm so touched Don! This is a huge, huge compliment.
Beautiful described.
Thank you so much Sandolores!
when are you writing a book because ADSAKHGLSDGH
Whenever I:
a) overcome my severe lack of discipline
b) get an idea that i am convinced isn’t boring or incomplete or half baked
…. So looks like it’ll take some time 😭 BUT I APPRECIATE YOUR FAITH IN ME!!!
This piece vividly captures the chaotic yet intimate experience of riding a metro during rush hour. It successfully immerses the reader in a visceral environment, painting a dynamic portrait of the crowd—its push and pull, the tensions, and the fleeting, unspoken connections between strangers. The descriptions are vivid and poetic, turning what could be mundane into a sensory overload of sounds, sights, and emotions. However, at times the rich detail threatens to overwhelm, making it difficult to focus on a central theme. While Anagha Smrithi beautifully evokes the physical and emotional entanglement of commuters, it could benefit from sharper pacing in some sections to maintain the reader’s engagement. Still, the writing’s strength lies in its ability to bring to life the paradox of public transport: the simultaneous isolation and connectedness we all experience in shared spaces.
Thanks for reading!